Matisyahu - One Day

Sometimes I lay under the moon
And thank God I'm breathing
Then I pray don't take me soon
Cause I'm here for a reason
Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
Because

[Hook]
All my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
For the people to say
That we dont wanna fight no more
They'll be no more wars
And our children will play
One day [x6]

[Verse 2]
It's not about win or lose
Cause we all lose when they feed on the souls of the innocent
Blood drenched pavement
Keep on moving though the waters stay raging
In this maze you can lose your way (your way)
It might drive you crazy but dont let it faze you no way (no way)
Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So my negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
Because

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
One day this all will change
Treat people the same
Stop with the violence
Down with the hate
One day we'll all be free
And proud to be under the same sun
Singing songs of freedom like
One day [x2]
One day [x2]

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Update

September 9th we celebrated 8 years of marriage. It's amazing to think what has happened in those eight years for me and Mat. We have most importantly loved. Through it all.

Larimer Street downtown
 

 

Where we went after our wedding reception to have dinner... 8 years ago, Sullivan's.
 

 

There have been tickle fights, bad movies, incredible food. We have met little pigs named Moo on our adventures...

Breckenridge. Where we like to go escape...

 

Walking around the streets at SouthGlenn and ran into this little girl.

 

Our wedding and honeymoon, infertility, experiencing the loss of Baylor our black lab, sharing unbelievable highs and lows. We have been to amazing places like Paris (no place is better), Helsinki and a smattering of cities in Germany; traveling, exploring, learning and appreciating other cultures. Physical outdoor activities and races, working out together and motivating each other.

2012 Color Run. Color Love.

 

2012 Denver Oyster race with Eric on our team.

 

When we rented from a friend and were fortunate enough to make home improvements in lieu of rent sometimes, it was practice for our home that we have now. The process of buying a foreclosure. Experiencing home renovation as we have, taking into consideration all of the small details to keep the 1930's character and completely transforming our "hot mess" into the Berry Bungalow. Having our family and friends by our sides as we grew together as a couple and as individuals. Sharing so much with them and each other.

Boulder brew tour with Mom and Dad.

 

Kitchen renovation with our God son, Jeremy.

 

Mat and his Dad, Veryl working on the pass thru.

 

Eight years of marriage brings you moments of gratitude and love. Life has brought us incredible times of happiness as well as hardships. Sometimes it can rock you to the core and you don't know how you are going to get up off the floor. And other moments you don't know how you could be so lucky.

Maybe the extremes for us have been preparing us for parenthood. I think everything prepares us in all ways. I am a better daughter, friend, wife and soon to be mother because of some of the very difficult things I have experienced. As well as the times when I was jumping for joy. Life is full of lessons and moments to cherish. We prepare ourselves everyday before we leave the house or speak in front of others or go out on a limb. I think it's when we are not prepared when life really happens. I think life is a blessing and it's gone in a blink of an eye. And I am excited to be unprepared for the next phase.

USCIS Approval Letter!

September 13 we received our notice of favorable determination concerning the application for advance processing of an orphan petition. When we saw the return address was the Department of Homeland Security we knew we would not be stagnant any longer. We now had our USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services) approval letter and couldn't be happier. Or I could just say, as of today, September 16 our case has been reactivated and we are no longer on hold to await our referral. We hope to get the call for our baby soon.

We have more paperwork to do, our dossier needs to be updated for the 3rd time I hate to say. But it's better to have us doing the legwork now than having anything slow down the arrival of our baby coming home.

Working on the dossier, getting some much needed house tasks done, working on another fundraiser (I will have an update on that later) and focusing on some abbymade business items are all on our to do list. It feels good to be in this moment.

 

Recently a friend told me in so many words. And I wish my memory was better so I could share it as eloquently as she did with me.

"God is not going to dangle this (baby) in front of you and not allow you to experience it. He is going to take you all the way." KG

Hearing those words made such an impact on me at a very difficult time. It was powerful and true. Now, it's what I remind myself if I'm struggling.

Abby and Mat

 

 

 

 

 

 

A success!

 

Our yard sale has come and gone and it was a huge success! Besides making a good amount of money for our adoption expenses we were able to clear out a lot of unused items in our home to make room for the baby. However we could have not done it alone. Not by far.

First you need the items to sell...thank you so much to the following people who made considerable donations!

Linda and Len -who lovingly brought 100lbs of items from Indiana on the plane
Jan and Veryl -who cleared out their basement to find great items. The sinks and toilet were conversation starters for sure.
Yvette -with the electronics portion of the sale with multiple TVs and stereo
Missy and Benji -a car full of popular kids toys, kids bike and bags and bags of clothes
Brooke and Link -the fastest moving item! Mat and my Dad unloaded the train table from the truck and before they could get the bag of accessories out it was sold!
Stina and Gary -clothes, lamps, tables and most importantly loads of martini shakers ;)
Kristalyn and Joe -very nice high chair, jogging stroller and other great baby items

And then you need the man or woman power to make it all work... my parents came out for the sale and we couldn't have done it without them. It would have been two days of bedlam had it not been for them. The traffic flow was constant both days. Mat's parents helped with the clean up when they returned from their trip and we were able to spend some nice time all together after we closed up shop.

I think I can speak for all of us when I say we are sore and tired but it was such a huge sense of accomplishment to make so much money in a short period of time and get our house cleared out a bit for the baby.

Thank you to my Mom from Mat and my Dad

This week we will be updating our dossier for the adoption for the third or fourth time. I know this sounds strange and it feels a little overwhelming but it needs to be done. Practically every piece of paper is date sensitive and our time frame is just to iffy to not have it done. If we didn't do it now and waited to find out- it could potentially delay the arrival of our baby coming home. And we just can't chance that.

Thank you again to everyone that helped us out! We look forward to moving forward and keeping you updated in our process.

Abby and Mat

Adoption Fundraiser Garage Sale

We are preparing for another garage sale to help us in our efforts of financing the adoption.

It will be this Friday, August 9th and Saturday August 10th at our house. 

It makes a tremendous difference when the donation efforts are multiplied. If you have a few things that you would like to donate to our sale please contact us at berryabs@yahoo. 

Feel free to look through past blog posts to see where we are in the process. 

Thank you so much,

Abby and Mat

Things are moving along...

Things are moving along at a steady pace now. And in many different areas.

We received our appointment from Homeland Security to get our fingerprints taken, we just got that taken care of today. That process takes 4-5 weeks to await the approval letter in the mail. Once that happens our agency can take us off hold and we can be put back on the wait list.

We are starting to get the house ready in anticipation for baby day. That means unpacking the basement bedroom that is full of boxes and half of the garage. It sounds strange to say that we are now just unpacking however, just until recently we were still doing a bit of renovation and updating work on the house.

Which brings us to another adoption fundraiser garage sale. This will be our 3rd. Because we need to purge (especially after living with so many things unused for over a year) and we need to get organized...we are doing this quickly. Friday August 9th and Saturday August 10th will be our garage sale dates. My parents are flying into town to help us and anyone else that would like to lend a hand is more than welcome! 

Garage sale donations.
Do you have a bag or box that you were going to drop off at Goodwill- maybe you could drop it off at our house instead? Please send me a message if you have anything to donate. The garage sale fundraisers for the adoption we have had in past years were so much more successful with the donations from friends. And our friends friends. Please feel free to share our blog with anyone you think may have some extra "stuff" laying around they don't want anymore.

More to come. I have to get all of our stuff ready...

Abby

The picture below has no relevance to this post- just a visitor on our door and wanted to share.

We are back!

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening,

Our audience spans the globe and I want to say hello to each and every one of you.

Hello, Selam, Bonjour, Hola, Guten Tag, Ciao, Salaam, Konnichiwa, Merhaba, Jambo.

It seems like it's been forever since our last post. It has been forever. Our absence was out of necessity and self preservation. From the beginning of our adoption process, I have been able to write and share my thoughts in a very cathartic manner. It was actually therapeutic to sit, gather everything swimming around in my head and simply type. While I thought it may be a great way to document our experience for ourselves it appeared that it was a place for others too. So, if you are still out there, we are back.

And a warning to any new readers. I am the queen of run-ons...and other grammatical errors.

While I could try to recap the last year plus, I don't think my time is best spent going through each memorable event. And the reality of me actually publishing this post would mean it would show up a week (month, or two) later...

I will give you the biggest peaks and pits. Let's start with the most difficult to handle (emotionally) so we are ending on a high note.

Pit#1
We do not have enough money after all for the adoption and are forced to go on hold after receiving the referral call, THE call for the baby.

At the beginning of 2013 we chose to make contact with our adoption agency and make sure we were all on the same page. This may sound strange, however after years of waiting, you tend to detach a bit. When you are just sitting and waiting on a list that sits somewhere between a desk on the East coast and multitudes of family situations in Ethiopia, it's a dance of keeping your emotional sanity and living a life you are partaking in daily. I digress. When the financial topic came up in conversation I felt there was a large gap in our communication. No. In fact, it was a large gap in where we thought we were on that financial totem pole and where we were in reality. Let me back up a little.

The best way to explain our situation is by sharing some deeply personal information. While we were not even considering to put forth the letter below our tunes changed after watching...of all things, the ESPY Awards. While listening (with tears) to the ever captivating Robin Roberts share her absolutely sad and inspiring story and accept the Arthur Ashe Courage Award a few things she said resonated. One of them being, that her Mother told her to "make your mess your message". Well, I try to listen to wise women and this just seemed to make sense to me. So, here it is, our mess and our message.

This is our condensed, raw and to the point backstory of our adoption process. The letter below has some very private information and yet when we are asked questions and do not want to answer (strangers) or cannot find the right words (friends) it is here where we find ourselves in between a rock and a hard place. Certain topics are thought of to be taboo. And yet, if more of us broke the taboo...perhaps we wouldn't feel so uncomfortable in society. I digress again.

Dear Help us Adopt Board Members,

Right this second there is an audible intake of breath by a hopeful couple, inside a little bungalow in Englewood, Colorado as you pour over our paperwork and read our story.

We want to thank you for considering our grant application as we continue our adoption process. We learned about your organization through our international agency, Wide Horizons. It was only during the last couple months that we felt we needed to ask for assistance. We understand that many couples who travel the road of adoption face many hardships and needs along the way.  We are no different, however, at this point in time we feel that we need help financially. 

The hardships and financial difficulties we as a couple have faced have forced us to grow as individuals and as a couple.  We have handled our obstacles together, grieved, laughed and most importantly loved. 

But first, we should give you a little history that includes lots of love and some heartache. We have been together for over eight years. Through our struggles we have allowed ourselves to be vulnerable enough to grieve. Yet, strong to rebuild, have hope and enjoy the present while looking to the future.

First, we learned in 2008 that Mathew was sterile.  Following the grieving period for this loss, while researching adoption agencies we learned in spring 2009 that Abigail would most likely not be able to conceive a child.  This was a double blow to us both.  However, these events only further reinforced our commitment to adoption, the seeds of which had been laid when we were still dating.  We as a couple knew we would rather focus our energy and resources towards building our family through adoption.

Once we started the adoption journey we received remarkable news.  All of the adoption expenses were surprisingly being gifted to us by a family member. We couldn’t believe our ears, listening intently over the phone and looking at each other in disbelief. There were many tears of joy, we were so grateful. This was a month of calm, peace and hope. Unfortunately, when they learned about the child’s birthplace, Ethiopia, they retracted the finances for the adoption and this is where we stumbled upon another emotional hardship.

In addition we have had the unfortunate experience of putting our adoption on hold twice. This was when we were notified that our landlord had to sell his townhouse we were living in. Lots of research and digging led us to buying our first home. However, it had been vacant for over a year and needed a certain amount of labor and love. The labor, was a complete kitchen and bath renovation, all new and safe electrical and plumbing with countless other small and not so small tasks. The love, was knowing that this is the home we would bring our baby into and create so many beautiful and special memories. Making it our home which is now clean and safe required us to use a good portion of our savings.

Since we have been in the adoption process for three and a half years some of the adoption fees have doubled and tripled from when we were first accepted as clients. In 2009 the approximate total, excluding travel, for the adoption was going to be $17,640. Today, the approximate total, excluding travel is $32,740. We understand that programs can change, countries can alter their requirements and fees may increase. To date, we have spent $9,850 and we still have the referral and post placement fees, totaling $25,000, not including travel.

While we were working diligently to save the remaining monies due upon referral we received the referral call. Needless to say, this was a bitter and helpless feeling. Knowing that we had waited for so long for this most special telephone call and knowing we couldn’t continue the conversation was heartbreaking. We imagined this one little but monumental phone call in our heads over the years. Telling our case worker that we did not have the total funds was difficult. We tried to make special financial arrangements with our agency but it was not a possibility. There were a couple weeks after the news of our referral that were emotional torture. It was impossible not to feel hurt after all we have been through. And it was becoming difficult not to tear up at the smallest of things. This seemed like such a significant obstacle that could put us on hold for a substantial period of time. We were required to go on hold for the second time because of the insufficient funds. Once we have the balance we will be back on the wait list and wait for the big call.

Finally, we are extremely worried that Ethiopia as a country might close to international adoptions.  Many changes have occurred during our time in the process.  Fees have increased as noted above.  Furthermore, Ethiopia requires prospective parents to make two trips instead of one.  This means four plane tickets instead of two as well as two hotel stays. 

There are no doubts that we will be loving parents. Abigail is a nanny to a wonderful boy whom she has been with since he was born. He is now five years-old and they are extremely connected. Abigail is actually stated as his legal guardian in his Mother’s will. We are God parents to two children, surrogate Auntie Abby and Uncle Mat to many others. Mathew is the big kid that all of the children always flock to. He is so natural and right at home with all of the children in our lives. When a little person stays with us for a night, weekend or longer we have a special rhythm together. It’s as natural as loving one another.

Abigail’s parents adopted her when she was only eleven days old. It is through this most positive experience that she always knew she wanted to adopt a child as well. Abigail’s parent’s also dealt with the loss of infertility and have been a rock to us both. The parallels between us and Abigail’s parents are somewhat remarkable. It is through these deep connections of pain and love for a child that we have been so patient in this process. Because of their love and unwavering support it has given us a unique support system like no other. They are there for us when we need to express our emotions and they can honestly know what it feels like. Abigail has three cousins that are adopted and another cousin who adopted a child. We will be bringing the 6^th adopted child into her family and we couldn’t be happier about that. Mathew’s family does not have any experience with adoption other than hearing positive stories from Abigail and her parents.

So to recap, we are asking for your help due to our hardships; infertility, going on hold due to financial restraints, not being able to pursue a referral, and our fear that Ethiopia may close to international adoption.  We are also asking for help due to financial needs; newlyweds with little money to begin with but began saving, promised financial support which was later rescinded, the need to purchase a home and use our savings, and finally the adoption fee increases.                

It is our hope that you read our story and understand some of the hardships we have experienced. But most importantly see who we are as a couple in these very few words and can feel the depth of our love and emotion for each other and for our child. We know one day the final chapter will include us home with our baby, regardless of how long it takes.

Most Sincerely, Abigail and Mathew Berry

Moving on to some peaks.

When reality set in that our agency would continue to raise the fees annually we knew that something had to give. With our current financial situation nothing was budging. In fact, my salary would be decreasing due to decreased hours because the little guy I take care of is growing up and starting kindergarten this year. So that meant either our job/s situation changed to accommodate the agency fee increase or we would not in any way be able to have a child.
(Yes, we have looked at other agencies, countries, situations, etc. this is still our goal to stick with Ethiopia. We hear lots of couples say they know their child is there or God is telling them that's where they need to be. With us, I would simply say that's where our hearts are. In Ethiopia. For numerous reasons.)

So...we did two things. One, we applied for a grant to assist us with our adoption expenses. And two, I started my own business.

Peak #1
We were given the grant! Our letter touched the board members who read it and we spoke with them about what we have been through and how they reacted to our situation and all that we have experienced. We have agreed to stay in touch and we have signed over permission for them to use our story in any marketing, etc. for their organization. We will give them periodic updates and pictures as our journey continues. We are eternally grateful to helpusadopt.org for their kindness and generosity! It is because of their grant that we are working diligently to come off of hold! We hope to be back at the top of the waitlist soon. We will keep you posted.

Peak #2
I became a business entity! abbymade, LLC was born on April 24th and it's been a whirlwind. This is the first time I am mentioning it in any public way. Word of mouth has kept me more than busy and I am struggling to keep up with the demand. Always a good problem for a new business. I have wanted to start my own food business for several years but never had enough guts. To be honest it started out of pure desperation for more $$$$ with the adoption situation and my dream of a more promising future for my family. And encouragement from a new and dear friend... Brooke.

I will say that my husband Mat and my parents, Mat's parents and family could not be more proud and excited. I am so lucky to be married to such an incredibly warm and thoughtful man. He has been so encouraging and helpful as I stumble around this new business world that I find myself in. Whether he is doing the cost analysis for the products or washing dishes (and cleaning the whole house)- he is my rock.  I have received great support from family and friends.  Mat's mom came over and helped with an event with baking and prep work.  Some other friends Emily and Whitney have also helped with photographs and baking and prep work for another event.  It has been unbelievable the amount of support.

I remember being in the kitchen with my Mom at a very young age. I asked her a couple weeks ago how old I was when I started cooking. She said as soon as I could walk, I was in the kitchen helping her. My Grama Betty taught me how to bake. She was one of the most important people in my life. I wish I could talk to her about this and so much more.

For now that is all. I can share more about the adoption, abbymade and some of you may be wondering about our house renovations. I will be coming back on a more regular basis. Perhaps once a week, maybe every other week. We shall see. Thank you for reading my ramblings if you made it this far ;)

Abby and Mat